Boundaries Blog — family
Adults: Do Not Obey Your Parents
As an adult, loving and honoring your parents does not equal obeying. God placed you with your parents for a season of time to help you grow into a mature adult. At some point this season ends, and your relationship with your mom and dad changes from child-to-parent to adult-to-adult. The roles change from dependency and authority to mutuality. While you are to respect and care for your parents, you are no longer under their protection and tutelage. Children are to obey parents, while adult children are to love and honor them. Therefore, sometimes you will need to confront parents, disobeying their desire for you to agree with them or go along with a bad situation.
People often have difficulty confronting parents, because they still feel like a little child with them....
Am I Being Selfish When I Set Boundaries?
"Now, wait a minute," Teresa said, shaking her head. "How can I set limits on those who need me? Isn't that living for me and not for God?"
Teresa was voicing one of the main objections to boundary setting for Christians: a deep-seated fear of being self-centered, interested only in one's own concerns and not those of others.
It is absolutely true that we are to be a loving people. Concerned for the welfare of others. In fact, the number-one hallmark of Christians is that we love others ...
7 Tips for Setting Summer Boundaries with Your Kids
It is scary how our kids can sense when we are weak and ready to give in to them. This can be especially true during the summer when kids are home all day and away from the structured environment of school. Without boundaries, kids learn how to beg, plead, argue, and rationalize to get out of their responsibilities. The later you start to enforce boundaries, the more energetically your children will resist. Here are seven tips to help you set important boundaries with your kids this summer...
How to Handle Guilt Messages from Your Mom
Tabitha telephoned her mother, who answered the phone weakly with hardly any voice at all. Concerned, thinking she was sick, Tabitha asked, "Mother, what's wrong?"
"I guess my voice doesn't work very well anymore," she replied. "No one calls me since you children left home."
No weapon in the arsenal of a controlling person is as strong as the guilt message....
Why Teens Should Get Angry with Parents
Adolescents get angry a lot. They live in protest mode, so it is second nature for them to get mad at everything in the world, especially their parents. But some parents are conflict-phobic — they are uncomfortable and afraid of being the object of their teen's wrath, and so they avoid setting boundaries with teens.
However, this teaches adolescents that if they throw a tantrum, they can get out of a limit. Teens who learn this will also have difficulty experiencing healthy adult relationships. To help your child avoid this relational future, you'll want to teach him to accept responsibilities in relationships without having outbursts....