Boundaries Blog
How to Test the Quality of Any Relationship
Usually the quiet one in her group, Debbie spoke up. The topic of discussion was "conflict resolution," and she couldn't be silent another second. "I know how to present facts and arguments about my opinion in a caring way. But my husband will walk out on me if I start disagreeing! Now what do I do?"
Debbie's problem is shared by many. She genuinely believes in boundaries, but she is terrified of their consequences....
Parenting Teens: 3 Tips for Building a Unified Approach with Your Spouse
Are you and your spouse united or divided in your parenting? Consider the following dialogue:
Dad: "You're letting our daughter do anything she wants."
Mom: "You're too strict with her."
Dad: "She needs more discipline and structure."
Mom: "She needs more love and encouragement."
Dad: "She's becoming irresponsible and out of control."
Mom: "She's becoming insecure and afraid."
And you thought kids and teenagers had conflicts! ...
What Biblical Submission in Marriage Really Means
Whenever I (Dr. Townsend) talk about a wife setting boundaries in marriage, someone asks about the biblical idea of submission. What follows is not a full treatise on submission, but some general issues you should keep in mind.
First, both husbands and wives are supposed to practice submission, not just wives. "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (see Ephesians 5:21). Submission is always the free choice of one party to another. Wives choose to submit to their husbands, and husbands choose to submit to their wives....
The Best Boundaries Words for Kids
I (Dr. Cloud) can still remember what happened that day when I was eight years old. I made a big mistake, but I didn't know it at the moment. I thought I was getting back at my sister, who was sixteen at the time. Opportunities for revenge were few and far between, and I was not about to let this one slip by. Sharon and her friend were goofing around in the den when one of them threw a pillow and broke the overhead light. They quickly figured out a way to arrange the light in such a way that you could not tell it was broken. They thought that they were off the hook. Little did my sister know that she had a sociopathic little brother with a plan....
Boundaries and The Beverly Hillbillies
When setting boundaries with someone, it's important to differentiate between what you prefer and what's actually wrong. Before you talk to someone about changing his behavior, figure out if what he is doing is really a "bad" thing or just something you don't like.
I (Dr. Cloud) refer to this distinction as a test I like to call "Would God and the Beverly Hillbillies Agree?" Here's what I mean: Some things are just things you don't like and want someone to change, but that person is not really doing anything wrong. Depending on where you come from, it may be acceptable or not....